Adrenaline junkies and blogging

Brilliant.

I'm seriously considering investing in this alarm clock, called the SnūzNLūz:




How it works:

"Connects to your online bank account, and donates YOUR real money to an organization you HATE when you decide to snooze!"

Are you a butcher? Set your SnūzNLūz to donate to PETA
Are you a republican? Set your SnūzNLūz to donate to the ACLU!
Are you a land developer? Set your SnūzNLūz to donate to the Wilderness Society!
Enjoy your freedom? (Blue state version) Set your SnūzNLūz to donate to the GOP. or
Enjoy your freedom? (Red state version) Set your SnūzNLūz to donate to MoveOn.Org
Are you a hippie? Set your SnūzNLūz to donate to the American Coal Foundation.
Are you a Ninja? Set your SnūzNLūz to donate to, hrrrm, we can't find a Pirate Charity at the moment. But there must be one...somewhere...

I'm not sure which charity I'd choose. Any (non-partisan) suggestions?!

So, yes, I admit it, I have a lifelong addiction to the snooze button.

A friend asked me recently how my mornings typically go. Well, I answered, they usually start with me hitting snooze for approximately an hour, then rushing out of the house late for work with unwashed hair, eating breakfast on the way to the bus stop, putting on makeup while riding the metro, and finally slinking to my desk and pretending I've been there awhile already.

So how does this tie into blogging?

I'm not so good at doing things on a normal timeline, or in installments, whether it's getting up in the morning, getting a project done at work, writing a paper, planning a party or a musical number or whatever. I tend to put things off, keep putting them off, put them off some more and then suddenly get it all done in a big burst of hyperfocused energy. My mother calls me an adrenalin junkie. I'm pretty sure this type of behavior has shaved a few years off my life.

So when it comes to blogging ... well, I try to space out posts and all, and I have ideas for posts regularly, but somehow they just pile up and the only way I know how to do this is to catch up all at once.

This is basically a very long way of explaining why there are eight new posts all of a sudden, and inviting you to read all of them (even though I have a feeling this is probably bad blog etiquette or something, and only my mom and like one other person will read them all). Ah, well, all I can say is, Welcome to my world.

Big Fat Loser

So, my excuse for not posting for more than a month is that I am a big loser. No, seriously. Just when I got rolling with this blog, I also became involved in an intense Biggest Loser competition. Who knew trying to be more healthy could be so time-consuming?

This is the point in the conversation where people start in with, "Oh, you don't need to lose weight! Why are you doing this competition? You look great!" And I want to say, "Spare me," but instead I explain that it's not just for weight loss, it's to be more healthy.

I say, "See, there are these eight things that you try to do every day (like eating five fruits/vegetables, working out for 30 minutes, sleeping seven hours, drinking 6-8 glasses of water, not eating after 8pm, and so forth) -- and you get a point for each one. So you can get eight points a day, and at the end of the competition, you get a little bonus for any weight you lose. So really, it's more about being healthy than losing weight."

(I always say that last line, but let's be honest, it's not really true. It really is more about losing weight, and about competing with other people. Especially in the moment when you're chugging two glasses of water before bed just to get that point for the day. And hoping your seven hours of sleep won't be too interrupted by it.)

At this point, people often interject one of two things: 1) "I could never do that. There's no way I could not eat after 8pm," or 2) "Oh, I would love to do this! Is it too late to sign up?" (The answer is yes. Sorry. We do have about 60 people participating -- and with each person putting $10 in the pot, it makes for some serious high stakes!)

Anyway, my point is that this competition has taken over my life. Sleeping seven hours a night takes a long time! Plus trundling back and forth to the gym all the time ... which brings me full circle to where I started this post. If you'd like to see what I've been doing instead of updating my blog, check out my progress here. And stay tuned for The Big Reveal, coming up next week ...

I had a blog once.

I had a blog once. I posted to it three times -- sentimental, introspective, poetic posts. I never sent the address to anyone, and finally it dawned on me: I didn't want a blog. I wanted a journal.

Fast-forward a couple of years. I say to Margaret, "I have an idea. I'm thinking about starting a blog. There are just so many great people that I want to stay in touch with, and I just don't have time. I think blogging would be a great way to keep up with friends." Margaret says, "Yeah, that's kind of the point."

Oh. I get it.

So, um, hey guys! Here I am, I have a blog now, let's, like, link to each other and stuff. FYI, I don't have any cute kids and I don't work in Abu Dhabi, but I promise to have funny mishaps and make witty observations regularly.

So, until then ...